Saturday, December 21, 2013

Running at the farm - dodging cow poo, uneven ground and ant nests!!!

How glorious it is to finally be on holidays. We both had our last day of work yesterday, packed the car and then at 2am this morning we got up, and were out the door by 3:30am NSW time.

After around 6 hours (including stops) we crossed the border into Queensland!!! Great feeling to be heading home, well to Mum and Dad's home.

We got here at about 9 Qld time.. pretty good effort.

Onto business then...
At the beginning of this round I did some serious goal setting. I set two types of goals Habit Goals and Achievement Goals, you can see my goals under the Goals tab at the top of the page.

The second group of goals I set were achievement goals. As always I'm inspired by Kate and her ability to set insane goals and then totally achieve them. Her most recent effort saw her running the cross country course at her old school which she defiantly avoided as a teenager.

One of the goals I set for over Christmas while in Stanthorpe was called 'Choose your own adventure fun run - run from the house to the back dam at Mum and Dad's property'. When setting this goal I had no idea how far that was in kilometres but a goal is a goal.

I decided planning was the key and that I should walk the track from the house to the dam to see how far it is. As I hadn't completed my SSS due to our drive I decided to head up there Saturday afternoon - yep the day we arrived. I thought I'd use Map My Run to calculate the distance. I walked out of the house yard, noted that it was weird that the gates were shut, then through the second gate (which was also closed - again weird) and started off on the track. The first bit was pretty flat so I decided I might as well run as far as I could, then I would know what to aim for.

The weirdly closed gate...

the track

Getting started

Pretty soon I found that running a track on a property is WAY tougher than running on the road and footpath at home. On the road and footpath all I have to worry about is my breathing (which I really struggle to keep even) and my pace...oh and cars lol. On the track I had to dodge the following obstacles:

Dried up Cow Poo,
uneven ground and grass tuffs great for rolling ankles,

and crazy ants nests!

As I was running, avoiding the above hazards, I wondered who had been at the farm with horses...

I had completely forgotten about the cattle. The ones Mum and Dad earn a living from for agistment!

So that's why the gates were shut!

Now normally cows don't worry me at all, but usually when I encounter them either they are in yards or I am in a car....not in the same paddock as them on foot. The first ones I came across were more afraid of me and turned and ran off!

But this one really had me worried! Those horns gave me a fright and then the damn thing started coming towards me. At this point I was still running and it certainly made me run faster....

And then of course I had another hazard to dodge while running - fresh cow poo!

running away from the horned cow!

And then I was there!

I couldn't believe I'd run the whole way on my first go!! I was so excited!!!

pointing at the top of the dam wall, standing at the base!

From the house to the dam it was 2.2kms and it took me 18 minutes! I completely smashed the goal that I'd set - the run wasn't as long as I thought it would be but it was just as challenging!

So proud of myself!

So now I guess I need to reset my goals but for the time being I'm very proud of myself. Below are some photos I snapped on the way back of the property. It was a beautiful place for a run!

Monday, December 16, 2013

Protein bars

These little babies are my saving grace on my big work days. I pop one or two in my lunch box for when I'm driving. I'm a compulsive eat-while-driving sufferer. I try really hard not to but I think it's years and years of conditioning, combined with radio ads and boredom. My strategy to fight this habit is to have a full bottle of water on the seat and a protein bar in case I cave in.

For the last few weeks I've been buying these:

but I've also been researching home made protein bar recipes. I found one I liked the sound of but it requires tinned black beans - only available in America. Lots of other recipes sounded good but required crushed nuts and I really wanted to try the bean base. I figured I should just experiment and see what happened. My desire to make my own really only stems from trying to eat as clean as possible without additives and other nasties. This way I know exactly what is going in to my bars.

The original recipe came from here.

Fudge Brownie Chocolate Protein Bars

1 1/2 cups Red Kidney Beans drained and rinsed well
3 tbs cocoa powder
7 tbs chocolate protein powder (I used Natures Way)
1/3 cup of honey (pure maple syrup or agave can also be used)
pinch of pure stevia or 2 tbs of sugar of choice  (I botched this and only just realised I did 2tsp not tbs..we'll see how it turns out)
3 1/2 tbs coconut or vegetable oil
1 tbs pure vanilla extract
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/3 cup to 2/3 cup of chocolate chips (optional - I didn't put these in)

Put all ingredients except the chocolate chips into a food processor and process until smooth. If adding the chocolate chips add once smooth. Tip into a greased 8 x 8 tin and bake at 180 for 15 minutes. Allow to cool then refrigerate overnight. Cut into pieces and enjoy.

So then they went into the fridge over night, then I cut them into 16 even squares - 100 cals each. I put them in ziplock bags in pairs and popped them in the freezer - all but one bag which I took to work.

And the result....they were DELICIOUS!!! Definitely worth the hard work!!



Sunday, December 15, 2013

Week 4...well really week 5 update...

The delay in updating is solely due to my own slackness...I originally did my 'start' fitness test at the end of week 1, so it's only fitting that my week 4 fitness test was actually done in week 5...luckily the 12WBT site didn't scream and spit at me as I logged my details a week late....haha oh well.
So far this round I'm pretty happy with my progress. After my world fell apart in August I did put on weight and started this round at 108kgs. Not happy about that at all but I set the goal to do this round like it was my first. So, not too much looking back and being annoyed and definitely no beating myself up. I watched the live feed from Mish afterwards and she addressed this - she wanted to know if the lady who wrote in was enjoying beating herself up...and to get on with it and move on. Which is what my goal was this round anyway.
Week 1, 2, 3 and 4 I did well with my sticker chart...sticking to calories most days and when I didn't get a sticker I'd usually only gone over by a little. Doing awesomely with the water, not so great with sticking to one coffee, or the softdrink, mindset video, or getting to bed early. I've also been inconsistent with exercise.
I have lost weight. Focussing so much on my food and just exercising when I can has worked ok.  And as of week 4 I'd lost 3.8kgs.
Here's the sticker chart...I get $1 for every sticker...looking forward to some new clothes!
Another goal this round was to start the running program. I've already posted with great excitement about running 2.8kms on Tuesday in 28mins, well I followed it up with 3kms on Wednesday!
before the run - ready to go

it's impossible to take a clear photo and jog!!

Fitness test and measurement results:

 So I increased my pushups by 5, was able to reach 3cms further, did the 1km trial 28seconds faster, did the wall sit for an extra 17seconds and planked for 9seconds longer. Small gains but huge in my mind!

Measurements wise I have lost 1cm from my chest, 1cm from my waist, 3cm from my hips while my thigh and arm have remained the same. Not too bad its a 5cm loss over all. For week 8 measurements the goal is to beat that!!

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Daring to dream...

Every now and then I surprise myself, I'm reminded that I am strong and capable. Far more capable than I've every believed. Today was one of those days.

I'll back track a little - so yesterday Kate Beck (Round 3 12WBT Inspirational Role Model Award Winner) wrote the most incredibly inspiring and insightful (3I's) post on her blog. You can read it here. Basically 18months ago Kate could only run 200m and on the weekend she ran 30kms...without...stopping...once! A-FRICK-ING-MAZE-ING!!! She has posted lots about her running and the way she has skipped from one distance to another but what shines through is her self-belief.

Early on in her running career someone said to her 'If you can run 1km you can run 5kms' and it has been her mantra ever since. That and 'I've got this' it. At the beginning of this round I decided to see this as a completely new round and I had a secret desire to become a runner. I shared this with Kate and she was just beautiful. She encouraged me to change programs to the Learn 2 Run (L2R) program and I did. But that's where it stopped. I carefully avoided logging in and focused on my nutrition - which is important but wasn't getting me any closer to my goal of being a runner.

I think the biggest issue has been that voice in my head, that laughs at my goals and says 'yeah right - as if you can do that'. I do my best to ignore that voice or at least keep it in check but it does niggle away at me. In any case I had a good think last night, after reading Kate's post. I thought about my lightbulb moment and the promise I'd made to myself - that I'm more than just 'the fat girl' and that I deserve to be happy and healthy. I stood up, went and got my workout gear out and set it on the table. I shut down the computer and went to bed on time and set my alarm for 4:30am. I didn't dare breathe a word about it to my darling husband. I have often said over the last few months - 'tomorrow I'm getting up early' and then I don't. I also made an agreement with the amazing Kate to be accountable to each other. I told only Kate that I was planning on getting up to exercise.

So 4:30am the alarm went off. I got up, got dressed, found my iPhone armband, earphones, waterbottle, headlamp (because it was still dark) and I hit the pavement.. When I looked up the plan for Monday's cardio, the L2R program involved 7x 4min intervals - some running, some walking - a total of 28mins. So my goal was to jog for the whole 28mins. I had no idea if I could do that. I have tried to jog the track we walk occasionally before but it's pretty long, and so I thought I'd focus on the time. I did my warm up and checked the timer on my polar - I hat to get to 32mins before I could stop. And off I went.

It got really hard, pretty fast. I quickly realised that my new shoes are gold! There was no rubbing on the arch of my foot like when I gave running a crack a few weekends ago and ended up with blisters in the arches of my feet. Instead it got mentally hard. I found myself thinking of Kate - if she could run 30kms after starting at only 200m, then I could run for 28 mins. I'd gotten close to that on the tready at the gym in June. But I've had a huge break and not done much exercise at all. I told myself  - in Kate's words 'Em, you've got this' and kept jogging.

This self-belief thing is hard going. I'm so used to hiding behind food or whatever. I've never been active before taking on 12WBT at least not for long stretches. So occasionally I need to be inspired by someone else's efforts ad dare to dream that maybe, just maybe I can do it too.

For 28minutes I pushed and bribed myself until the magical number ticked over and I stopped jogging. I really truly did it! I jogged without stopping for 28 whole minutes. The only slight blemish on the event was that my new ap, Map My Run stopped working after only a few minutes so it wasn't an accurate read of how far I went. When I stopped jogging I wasn't home but I was over half way around our circuit, so I walked the rest of the way - grinning from ear to ear.

Before driving to work I drove the route I jogged this morning and was shocked to discover I had jogged 2.8kms this morning - only another 200m and I'd have done 3kms!! I wish I had known that this morning.

So here it is....I want to be a runner. I already am a jogger but I want to get better, faster and be able to run for longer. I've set a goal for the Gold Coast Marathon 2014 - cause there is an awesome group of 30+er's committing to going and competing. I'm thinking....daring to dream...that I might just register for the 10kms. I mean, I nearly did 3 today and it was day 1!!! Imagine what I'll be able to do in 6 months!!!

I just need to keep working on silencing that voice in my head that thinks I can't do these things because obviously it doesn't know what the hell it's talking about. Today is proof of that!!

A special thanks Kate for being an inspiration, for your support and your honesty!!!

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Theme songs and radio advertising....

I love music. I love songs that inspire me and often find myself connecting so much with a song that I adopt it as my theme song.

For a while now my I've had two and I'm still loving them. If you watched my video then you'll already know they are 'Change your life' Little Mix and 'Roar' Katy Perry. I have a few reasons for having chosen these songs. Firstly, they just spoke to me when I heard them for the first time. I mean, why wouldn't they. What do I work on every single minute of every single day? Changing my life. This is NO FAD, this is NOT a phase I'm going through, this is NOT A DIET. So 'Change your life' was  a no brainer on the theme song front. The bit that got me in 'Roar' was the line 'you held me down, but I got up, get ready cause I've had enough' - that's exactly it. My weight has held me back all my life and I've had enough that is why I'm doing this.

Why all the talk of theme songs?

Well I think everyone should have at least one theme song. I also love 'Burn it down' Ricki-Lee and there was another with the line 'this girl is on fire' - I like it too.

So yes, I believe everyone needs a theme song.

For my work I spend an absurd amount of time driving and constantly listen to the popular radio station that regularly plays one of my songs 'Roar'. Sometimes I get organised an bring the cable for my iPhone to work so I can listen to a playlist, but this is very rare. But I think I'll be turning over a new leaf.

I haven't had the best two days work wise. A family I've been working with for a while that I've been planning on exit blew up like a fire cracker....I can't really go into it...privacy issues and what not but I have done exceptionally well and not reached for food to get through it. But today in the car, with the mindless advertising between songs which I usually ignore and plan work stuff during I realised I needed fuel. I pulled into a servo feeling pretty crap, got out and filled up. As I went in to pay I thought 'should have brought my wallet so I can get an iced coffee' WTF??? I don't drink iced coffee - it upsets my stomach and the results are NOT pleasant. Luckily I hadn't grabbed my purse so I didn't buy anything. I got back in the car a little perplexed but patted myself on the back for not caving, still not sure where the idea/craving had come from.

As I drove down the highway an ad came on for their 'road crew' advertising where they were and what the had in stock. I nearly stopped the car for fear of running of the road. I was furious, here this station was saying about a certain type of iced coffee that it would 'fix it'. My day needed fixing and my brain had obviously registered their ridiculous advertising and told me I needed an iced coffee to fix my day.

Well - no more radio. From tomorrow I'll be listening to my playlists instead and cranking up my theme songs or P!NK cause I LOVE P!NK.

It has just made me furious. I know that the advertising world has a lot to answer for in turning us into emotional eaters and I'm just glad I caught myself before purchasing something I didn't want and that I knew would make me sick.

End Rant....have an awesome Friday tomorrow and a fabulous weekend!!!

Monday, November 25, 2013

Still working at it!

It takes belief and determination to wage a three year plus battle against food addictions, specifically a sugar addiction. 

It takes consistency and hard work. 
It means not allowing habitual self loathing to rear it's ugly head when you make a poor choice or have a day of poor choices, or a week of poor choices.
Mish talks about 'owning' decisions and being prepared to accept the consequences of eating more or not training as hard as you could.
This time around it hasn't been as much about weight loss as being about getting a life I love. Don't get me wrong there were and still are wonderful things in my life - a big loving family, a doting husband and amazing friends. But behind it all was a me who didn't truly believe in myself and a me who figured this was just the way life would be. I'd always be fat - the big girl - and my weight may or may not stop us from having babies.
Ultimately it was my unshakable desire to have babies that started me, not in a diet because a diet has an end date, but through a complete change of lifestyle. 
I still make less than ideal food choices from time to time - I'm human. And I'm starting to find a balance between having that one thing and not just going crazy and binging on whatever I can get my hands on. 
It's important for me to get this down - I am worth the effort. My friends will still be my friends when I'm not just the 'big' girl of the group - I'm dealing with my fear that in losing weight I'll also lose my place with some of my dearest friends. I'm beginning to understand that if they are truly my friends, I'll always have a place in their lives... It's worth it for a long and happy life. 
I just sometimes need to remind myself.

Friday, November 15, 2013

Goals and rewards - week 1

It's well past time I set my goals for this round. I very cheekily skipped that preseason task because I wasn't ready to commit and knew anything I put in there I wouldn't be serious about. And I need to be serious about these goals...or I won't work for them. 
I've decided to have two sets of goals. Firstly will be the HABIT goals on my new chart (which I've started putting stickers on) and more specific ACHIEVEMENT goals. Make sense? Clear as mud? Below is my list of Habit Goals which appear on my reward chart.  
Habit Goals:
1.1200cals per day!
2. 2L water per day MINIMUM.
3. 1 coffee or less per day.
4. Exercise/train
6. Watch the mindset videos!
7. Go to bed before 10 - I was going to make it 9:30 but it's hard with daylight savings and my qlder friends.
With the exception of the mindset video - each goal can earn me up to 7 stickers per week - one for each day I meet that goal.

I have created a reward jar. For every sticker I'm going to put $1 in the jar. I can earn up to $43 per week which is up to $516 for the round - to spend on clothes. I'm not sure if this hold that much dosh...I'm not sure if I'll actually put the money in there or just tokens to represent the money. Will think more on it!!! Sunday is the night all the money/tokens go in!


cute huh!! I love it!
So down to the nitty gritty of this round.
My Round 4 - 2013 ACHIEVEMENT Goals are:

1. My weight loss goal is to lose 10kgs and crack into the 90's.
I want to be under 100kgs by Christmas and my 35th birthday. I know this is achievable but I think I'm scared of trying hard and not getting there - of failing. The other day this came up in my feed on facebook from Michelle Bridges 12 WBT:

"Guys, I want you to remember: don't compare your journey to someone else's. It's yours alone - so OWN IT! Xx"

I promptly shared it with the 30+ crew and my girls on our Wonder Women page. I really REALLY struggle with this and it drives me NUTS. I look at some of the amazing women I know of and stalk follow on facebook and wonder why I couldn't be as hardcore as them and be at my goal weight now. How could I let the emotions of the past few months cause me to gain during a round of this amazing program and really waste my money. The truth of the matter is I am me. I have serious food problems and what I know to be true about myself has always been "I'm the fat/big girl of the group" - that's always been my role. I recently re-read my Lightbulb Moment post and I know this is something I need to work on daily - hence the mindset video goal in the habits goals. I know food is my go-to crutch. So I need to put some plans in place to help deal with those crappy days when they happen - my bright pink sticker chart is a start - it makes me smile!!! Which leads me to goal number 2:

2. Do it like it's my first!
This round I'm aiming to compare as little as possible - technically this isn't an achievement but it will be for me. I've compared myself to others all my life. I'm trying to see everything as if its week 1 of my first round - so finally doing my fitness test, I didn't groan and cry over the fact that 6 months ago I could cream my current 1km trial doesn't matter I'm here now and I'm Doing it like it's my first!

3. Beat my personal bests!
This goal is SIMPLE! I want to beat my starting fitness test in week 4, then beat week 4 stats in week 8 and so on. There will be an associated chart and reward - undecided on the reward.

4. Hit the Fit Pit!
Jo in Denman runs a bootcamp 2 afternoons per week - Jo's Fit Pit. Monday arvo at 5pm and Thursday arvo at 5:30. I will attend as many as possible this round - 1 sticker per attendance = more money in my jar ;)

5. Run!
This is one of my very favourite P!NK songs right now. And yes it is now a goal. I am going to attempt do the Michelle Bridges Learn to Run program. I've officially changed over to that program and it's a little scary. To start with the aim is just to follow her program. The very amazing Kate found (here) said in her running interview (here) to be successful at exercise you have to do something that 'Takes your breath away". Well of all the moments in the gym that took my breath away it was when I cracked 5, 10,15, 20 and 25 mins of being able to run on the treadmill but I'm going to start again outside.

6. Operation Bridesmaid!
I'm going to be a bridesmaid for my dear friend Meagan on the 4th of January. When I tried on and ordered my dress I was at my lowest - when I first cracked into the 90s at 98.9kgs. I need to get back that low at least for the wedding! Totally doable!!!

7. Choose your own adventure - fun run!
At some point during my 3 weeks at Stanthorpe (mum and dad's farm) I will run from the house to the big dam up the back. NO idea how far that is...but my goal is to do it!

8. Operation Little White Dress!
Wear my white dress with the black embroidered flowers out for our Wedding Anniversary Dinner in Stanthorpe 30-12-13.

9.Run 5kms by 1st of February 2014!
So I want to be able to run 5kms without stopping. Goal 4 will hopefully lead to goal 5 if I'm committed and consistent!

10. Register for a fun run.
I want to do the Colour Run in Newcastle in 2014 and the Neon Run in Sydney in 2014 but the dates haven't been released yet. So I'll settle for registering for the events.

11. The Amazing Race - 12WBT style!
My friends in Hervey Bay did this earlier in the year and I'm going to set up my course and one for the Brissie mates who did the Biggest Loser style weighted-backpack-carry-up-a-mountain-challenge with me last round. Not sure how it will look or what the challenges will be or when we'll do it...but it's ON!!!

12. Operation Blue dress!
Debbie wore my GORGEOUS blue dress to finale and having seen it on her - my major goal is to get into it myself! This round or the next but it a BIG goal!!!

So, there you have it! 12 goals for 12 weeks.  Round 4 2013 Achievement and Habit goals...I see another reward chart in my future!!

Thursday, November 14, 2013

A special gift!

This is for the lovely Myriddian Shrinks! Email me your address at because this  ready for you!


Wednesday, November 13, 2013


Habits are funny things. We don't even really notice doing them, I guess that's how we know it is a habit. Like throwing the chocolate bar onto the cash register at Woolies. I do it, then consciously ask myself 'Do I really want that? Or do I want to achieve my goals more?' then I put it back. Some habits are easier to break than others. Obviously, food habits are the bane of my existence and the ones I really struggle to change. Funny that...I've been doing it one way for 31 years and 3 years on I expect to have made lasting changes - HA!!! That's why this is a LIFETIME change for me...and I may have to consciously focus on it every day for the rest of my life, but you know's totally worth it.

On the topic of habits and them having crept back in while going through my recent turmoil (see previous posts) yesterday while checking facebook I saw the following status update on the Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation page:

'If I came and lived with you for a week, what would be different about your habits? NOW GO MAKE THAT CHANGE!!! Xx'
Well, talk about a turning point. I stopped me in my tracks...well I was sitting at the time...but it metaphorically stopped me in my tracks.

I sat there in the work car (as you do) and thought to myself 'If Mish was really in my house she would kick my butt'. You know that look she gets on her face on 'The Biggest Loser' when someone is kidding themselves and she is disappointed or wants more out of them...that's the face I can see in my mind! The more  I thought about it the more I realised I've been fooling myself. It's the little things. Telling myself 'its ok, I'll walk this afternoon so I can sleep for another hour' but then I don't walk. Well it is time to stop and make the changes.

Here's the list!! These are the changes I'm making from right now!!

1. No more diet softdrink (I'm saying goodbye to my last one as I type).
2. Reduce coffee consumption to 1 and only 1 per day!
3. Stick to the 1200 calories - if not the food plan...adapt where necessary but stick to the 1200!
4. Blog my thoughts and feelings instead of eating them. Even if I've covered it before!
5. Exercise - simple! Go to Jo's Fit Pit with Debbie on Mondays and Thursdays plus other workouts.
6. Plan ahead and do some cookups (did my first one this arvo...broccoli soup in the freezer and four serves of the eggplant cous cous salad I love in the fridge).
7. Increase water consumption.
8. Watch the mindset videos!!
9. Put the non 12WBT foods into containers so Marko can still eat them but I can't see and want them.
10. Get a visual chart up showing my goals.

I'm sure I'll think of more but this is a damn good start. Now I just have to stick to it and that cranky face of Mish's that I'm seeing in my head will turn into a proud happy smile!! So now I'm off to make my reward chart!! I'm envisioning another list of rewards to help get me through!!

So, an hour or so later, here's my reward chart.

It will go like this, every day I meet that goal I get a sticker (if I can find small ones) or a tick. At the end of the week I'll put $1 for every sticker or tick into my clothes fund jar. At the end of the round I'll go spend it!!! Making up a cool jar is tomorrow nights job!

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Round 4 2013 - My 7th Round

I have been feeling like a fraud.

I went to Hervey Bay to meet Mish all the while feeling like I didn't deserve to be there. I put on weight last round. I know why and I totally own it. I know if I hadn't been signed up things would be worse right now but I have been feeling like I've let myself down.

Having a miscarriage was devastating. I felt like my heart had been ripped out and stomped on. But no one else could see the difference in me. My darling husband knew and some close friends but outwardly I didn't look any different and there was no one to bury, no grave to visit yet I felt that there should have been.

I've always used food to cope with feelings and I'm proud (sort of) to say that I've only put on 3kgs. And it's time to refocus, see the accomplishments of the whole journey and start round 4 as if it were my first round.

While working through the preseason tasks I've mechanically done a 6 times before I decided it was time to announce my commitment on my main Facebook page - I was terrified. I confided in my friend and Round 3 12WBT Hero Kate Beck, who suggested doing a video. So I did, and I posted it to my facebook page!

I was overwhelmed and emotional reading all the amazing comments from my friends and family.

'OMG Em.....I am sitting here with tears running down my face. I am so proud of how far you have come. I have always lived a fairly active lifestyle and I couldn't even last one round of the 12 WBT. Thank you so much for sharing that video with us. You are an inspiration to us all....xx. Oh and by the way I never realised how much you looked like your mum until I watched that video.' - Tania

'It was amazing beautiful Job hunny very inspiring..what a difference dedication makes.' - Harriet
'Loved it. thanks for sharing' - Gill


'Go for it Em! YOU can do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING.' - Amanda

'Yep. Cried too. Congratulations, Em. Such determination and bravery. You are a champion. One thing though... be kind to your old self. After all, it was she who was brave enough to take the first steps of this journey!! xxxx' - Caroline

'Emily, I have just finished watching your video. I have tears in my eyes. You're an inspiration. Thank you.' - Lisa

'Amazing, Emmy

'You are amazing! I can't view it either. ..
Talk soon xx
Proud! !' - Anita

'Very inspiring Emily, can't wait to see the rest of the story xx' - Sarah

'Love you Em xxx' - Hayley

'Go you good thing! You should be so proud of yourself. Well done xoxo' - Rosie

'so proud !!!' - Sonia R.

'You are amazing! Go girl

'Em you are amazing, truly look absolutely stunning, I've got tears of joy for you!' - Karen B.

'Awesome Emily. That was amazing. Well done. Well done. Well done. '- Debra

'I am soooo proud of u my gorgeous friend !!! Xx' - Brooke

'Omg Emily Turkalj I have shed some happy tears watching that! What an amazing achievement

'You have always been beautiful, Em. You are awesome and inspirational. xx' - Jane

'Em. Watched it through. You have always been beautiful. I remember you reading maccas signs at 3 or 4 years old (or was it 2. Smart kid) What an amazing journey! Stay exited. Love life (the journey). You are a credit to you! xo' - David

'I have tears! Such determination. You're amazing em.' - Elle

'Well done Em! A beautiful girl inside and out!!! I love the photos of you with Ele too x' - Sonia A.

'It's like watching a dream only I know it's real!!! you really are amazing Emily

'Em you have worked magic - you have done so well and continue to do so. I am so proud of you and just love the video. Congratulations on all of your hard work xoxo' - Kate
'Only if you stand by me. I need to also lose 10 kilos. Let's do it together..' - Tanya
'Wow Em that video is amazing! You have come so far! Your strength an determination are always such an inspiration to me! Thank you for being you xoxo' - Natalie
This little project - putting together a video of my journey - helped me see that despite the gain I've really lost so much and gained an amazing life...I mean I had an awesome life with my darling husband..but now I'm more active and healthier.
So the upshot of all this is that I'm recommitting, to a new round with a new focus!!! Lets see what the next 12 weeks bring!!