12WBT February Round 2015 - wrap up

In typical Emily style, I started out well blogging last round, but then I let it slide...so here's the fast forward version of my first round 'back in the saddle'!

I thoroughly enjoyed the #randomactsofexercise so much in fact that I made my own shirt in case we do it again (planning on hitting Cathy up to do another one). It was heaps of fun exercising in places I don't normally and having it filmed on my phone!

I did pretty well this round, losing a total of 9.1kgs. I forgot to do my final weigh in prior to the last night and so officially I lost 10.1 but I know I put on 1kg in the last week. 
 

This round also saw me participate in my first ever MUD challenge - Miss Muddy - with Debbie and her gorgeous girls! Don't I look confident! HA!
 

I was super excited to catch up with the beautiful Hayley and meet gorgeous Imogen for the first time while at the central coast for Miss Muddy!

Our clean BEFORE photos:

Yep, we bought team shirts...such nerds!!

AANNNDDD.......our AFTER photos:

I was a bit, well a lot excited to get my photo with some of the crew!!

And I got some cool Miss Muddy stuff, including a MEDAL! MY FIRST EVER!!!

 In the week after Miss Muddy, I got the running/jogging bug again and this was the result. A very nasty blister on the arch of my left foot which put me out of action for more than a week! It was sooo painful. But I concentrated on my food and didn't gain that week!

My unofficial end of the round photo - without the magazine and not in my undies...but 9.1kgs down!

 Week 1                                                            Week 12

One of my favourite parts of the round was getting back into Saturday SSS workouts with Debbie and rewarding ourselves with a coffee afterwards!! So delish and best company!!

So today marks the start of the May round. I've half done my preseason tasks, I'm spending 4 days in Toowoomba this week helping my brother furnish his new unit, then end of week 2 we are moving house....exciting but I've got to plan, plan, plan!!! Eating out the freezer before defrosting it while staying on track is proving a challenge but not impossible!! So here's to a new round which will hopefully see me smash out another 10kgs!!

Starting again....again

I don't know where to start really...

I guess I should start by saying I've had a challenging few weeks. Emotionally I've needed to be the supportive one for several friends, while being shot down by another and coping with a few of my own issues too. The result? I lost my mojo. If I could do the last two weeks again the only thing I'd change is my attitude to it all. 

My friends needed me, so I was there. 

Yes, I was accused of being a bad friend by someone I have spent time and effort helping. To say it hurt is a massive understatement. I have always been proud to think that I'm the sort of friend people like to have. I try not to be too high maintenance and I always give what I can, trying to take little. I know her state of mind was a major factor, but it hurt me a lot. 

Then, I put on weight. Not just a little - 1.8kgs. I hoped it was just fluid due to my monthly cycle but this last weigh in day I only lost .1 of the 1.8 so I must have been living in the world of denial and thinking I'd done well with nutrition while clearly not doing so. 

All of this has left me feeling out of control and like I've let myself down completely. For the first time ever, I set a goal of the weight I wanted to be by the end of the round - and it is highly unlikely that I will get to it this round. I feel like it is a self full-filling prophecy. I never set target weight goals so that as long as I finish a round lighter than I started I'm happy....the one time I try something new and I blow it completely. 

So, my 90 in 90 challenge will need to be changes to 90s in 90...now I just want to get into the 90s. 

I'm disappointed with having to move the goal posts but happy that this might still be achievable. 

This week I finally put together the video of all the photos from 5kms Same Day Same Time - you can view it here. It's pretty cool and took hours to put together. All the people who participated enjoyed watching it so I'm glad I spent the time on it.

Despite feeling like I've blown this round (hadn't got my head to where it is right now) I nearly didn't get up this morning to exercise, but I'd promised Debbie we'd do a run/walk before she left town for the Day on the Green. We did about 6kms and chatted between runs, which was just what I needed. I'd spoken with her through the week so she knew where my head was at. Over our traditional post workout coffee, Debbie handed me a box and inside was this amazing bangle.

It says "IF YOU CAN DREAM IT.....you ca achieve it". She told me that she had purchased it to give me when I reached the milestone of being under 100kgs, but that she thought it would do more good for me to have it now. She jokingly said I should hurry up so she doesn't have to take it back - she wouldn't she was just being silly. I do know that she has my back. I do know that she wants to see my game face on again and I do know she wants me to succeed. And it worked. I have only taken it off to shower. I have logged in to 'my fitness pal' today and tracked my calories. I also had a cook up!!
 

I now have 6 penang chicken, 6 beef strogenoff and 2 spaghetti and meatballs meals in the freezer! Yay me. I'm starting to feel a little more in control. The rest I can manage!
 

And just to make myself feel a little special I did my toenails tonight! Hot pink - as if there was ever any other option!!

Operation 90 in 90 (because 90 in 84 just doesn't have the same ring to it)

This is my 8th consecutive round of 12WBT and I have never focused on a specific amount of weight as my goal weight loss in a round. I think this is because I figured if I didn't set a goal, I couldn't fail. And my results have reflected this. I've had some good rounds, some mediocre rounds and one where I finished heavier than I started....I like to forget that round ever existed but I'm being honest and owning it....

This round will be different.

Because this round I have set a target or a an end of round goal.

My overall goal this round is to get to 90kgs by the end of week 12. Even as I think this number I feel myself tensing up inside - disbelieving that I can do it and laughing at myself. Mostly it's a mental thing for me. I have SO many issues around that three digit number changing to a two digit one. It sounds insane but I honestly do. Issues like that revolve around that picture of what I know to be true about myself. I posted about this a while back and was discussing it with my friend Kate last night. There is so much fear and doubt that when I challenge what I know to be true about myself that I won't like who I become, that my best friends won't like who I am, that I won't fit in anymore and that my life will change too much and I'll lose the wonderful stuff not just the weight and all the weight represents.

I know it sounds CRAZY. But that's what irrational fears are about. Others listen on in amazement wondering how the heck this seemingly normal and functional person became so neurotic about the difference between 2 and 3 digits on the scales.

I guess for me the first step was sitting in that work session and realising that I'm more than the number on the scale and that I can't let that number define 'what I know to be true' about myself. Easier said than done. Particularly when that number HAS defined 'what I know to be true' about myself for as long as I can remember. It's a new way of thinking and it takes practice.

So I'm taking a leap of faith. I'm aiming to be 90kgs by the end of Round 1 2014 and I am planning on doing exactly that.

As per my letter to myself I have a strategy and a weekly goal to aim for each week. I was thinking more about it today and about my buddy Kate and her awesome catchy goal names and I thought '90 in 90' sounded pretty cool. Unfortunately 12 weeks of 7 days only equals 84 but as I said '90 in 90' sounds better. So realistically I've bought myself 6 additional unofficial days (which I may need cause I didn't get off to the best start).

There are a few key things I need to do to make this happen.

I need to:

• Be better prepared
• JFDI with exercise
• Use My Fitness Pal
• Focus on my goal

Today when I wanted to eat on my way home I just focused on the number. "90 in 90" I said to myself and I found I didn't want to eat after all. When I got home I said no to the rice crackers that Hubby had out (and the cheese and dip) and it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I said "no" to the pepsi max he offered me and chose water instead.

So "90 in 90" will be my new mantra.

In deciding to be better prepared, tonight while I cooked dinner I also cooked up a batch of my good old favourite Cupcake Quiches!! I usually do a double batch, bag them in pairs then freeze them for work lunches - however tonight I didn't have enough eggs so I just did a single batch.

 

Mmm yummy!! Can't wait to get into these for lunch tomorrow!!

 

JFDI with exercise - the alarm clock is set and come rain or shine I WILL be up at 4:15am and I WILL do my 12 minute running test and exercise plan. I will even post photos to prove it!!

 

I feel good knowing I have a plan and a goal to aim for. Now I just have to do it!!

Weekly Challenge - Week 1 - Letter to yourself...

Dear Emily,
 
Well done on signing up to 12WBT for your 8th consecutive round. I know that you have struggled not to feel like a failure that you haven't achieved your goal weight and that after 8 rounds you still feel like you have so far to go. You need to remember how far you have come. Do you remember that family holiday at the beach, right before you first found out about 12WBT? Do you remember how hard it was climbing the stairs where you stayed and how after two days there you could barely walk from the pain in your muscles? How uncomfortable you felt...all the time? Well since that time you have lost 30kgs and 47cms. You have learned to run. You have found a grit and determination that you never dreamed was lurking there inside you.

As your dear friend Debbie would say, "You LIVE your life instead of watching from the sidelines".
 
You need to watch your own video again and be proud of who you are and what you have achieved so far.

Go! Watch it now! HERE!

I know that you are apprehensive about your 8th round because you want to set an achievable but challenging goal. You have admitted to me and one or two others, that your dream result for this round would be to finish at 90kgs. GREAT! Lets make it happen! You have set goals before and you have achieved them. You can do it again. I know this is different because you have never placed a weight loss goal on paper because the pressure worries you - but in another dear friend's words - "Babe, you've got this".

So let's nut this out, let's make some plans. It's mid week 2 (and yes this is a week 1 task - I can hear you already saying how you wasted week 1 - GET OVER IT!) so lets work on the remaining 10 weeks. You gained this week and you owned it. Good for you. So you are starting from today at 105.1kgs. You want to be 90kgs so the goal is to lose 15.1kgs in 10 weeks. That's an average weekly loss of 1.51kgs. Very achievable. Again, I can hear you freaking out saying you never lose that much in a week but you have done it. Look back at your stats and think about those weeks and why you were so successful. What did you do well then? You planned your food, you planned your training and you STUCK to your plans.
 
So what do you have to do? Stick to your plan for the next 10 weeks. I'm proud of you for getting stuck into it last week and setting up a new goal chart and adapting the one for your stats from last round. This is a wonderful start. Now you need to get in and get your menu for week 3 sorted.
 
You need to NOT TURN OFF YOUR ALARM TOMORROW MORNING. I know you haven't been coping well lately. I know that the painful loss you suffered back in August haunts you every month and sends you into an emotional spiral but you need to take control of it. Channel the emotion into your exercise and use this time while you are not growing a baby to get closer to your goal weight and healthier so that next time you fall pregnant it will be a happier story. No-one knows why these things happen but it can't hurt to get as physically fit and healthy as possible to give yourself the best start.
 
You need to stop comparing yourself to others. It is ok to be the slow and steady achiever. In fact you need to celebrate your steady commitment and continued focus. Sure you've hit some speed bumps where your weight has fluctuated a little, but each time you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and you start again and that is true commitment and focus. WELL DONE! I'm so proud. You came a long way in this during round 4. You committed to doing the round as if it were your first, and I challenge you to embrace the next 10 weeks in that way. Find that spark inside you that I know is there. I know you can do this and I believe in you wholeheartedly.
 
Your other goal for this round is to be able to run 10kms. You want to register for the Gold Coast 10km fun run. I know you are scared and haven't taken any steps towards that yet. Think back to Christmas when you first ran 5kms when only two weeks before you could only run 3. You can totally do this. You know most of it is a mind game, persisting long enough to run that far. Again lets break it down. You can already run 5km so to get to 10 you need to increase by 5km in 10 weeks. That's an average increase of 500m each week. Totally doable! Focus on the small goals...each step which will take you to the end goal.
 
These are the goals that I know you are thinking you want but don't really think you could possibly achieve them.  You want to be 90kgs but deep down you don't believe you can do it. You want to be able to run a fun run and eventually a marathon but you don't believe you can do it. Well I do. I believe and for now I will carry and support your belief.
 
Let's break it down - here's what I am going to help you achieve over the next 10 weeks.

Week	Weight goal	Running goal
3	103.5kg	5.5km
4	101.9 kg	6 km
5	100.3 kg	6.5 km
6	98.7 kg	7 km
7	97.1 kg	7.5 km
8	95.5 kg	8 km
9	93.9 kg	8.5 km
10	92.3 kg	9 km
11	90.7 kg	9.5 km
12	90 kg	10 km

See, that is ACHIEVABLE. I've set you a weight goal for each week, on average if you are getting to those mini goals by week 12 you will be there. Don't be afraid to ask for help, I'll be checking in to make sure you are ok and are finding positive ways of coping with your emotions and those old habits that have crept back. It's time for some tough love. Think about what you want. Make some decisions about what you are willing to compromise on in your life. How badly do you want it. I want it for you, but you have to want it for yourself. You know this. And you know you are capable.

Lean on that spunky husband of yours. Ask him to support you. You know he would climb mountains for you...literally...so just speak up. IT'S TIME! 

So, tomorrow morning when the alarm goes off, I'll be right there with you. We'll do it together. I'll be right there cheering you on every day, encouraging you and reminding you that you are a strong, capable and beautiful woman. You are a wonderful friend and as a quiet achiever you are showing others that everyone runs their own race - and that is not just ok - its the way it should be. Every person is different. Their challenges are different.

DON'T COMPARE!

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!!

BACK YOURSELF!

DREAM BIG!



BABE, YOU'VE GOT THIS XXXXX


all my love and support,
Em.

An update on my running!

Another blog post from my time away!

 

My running goal for my holiday was to run without stopping to the dam wall at my parents property. I managed to do it the first go - 2.5kms without stopping.

 

So I had to re-evaluate..

 

My new goal is to run 5kms without stopping before leaving the farm...

 

I started by running every morning before breakfast. Some days Marko ran with me but most days I went on my own.

Post run with Marko.

 

 

 Each day I ran a little further until today....I ran 5kms....on Christmas day, in my Christmas running gear!!!

 

Christmas running tutu!

 

 So I guess my next goal should be 10kms....can't wait!

New Undies and a warning about running!

Due to my lack of internet service this post is coming to you way later than first intended! I wrote this while on holidays before Christmas.

Enjoy!

First things first.

It's a sad but exciting state of affairs when your underwear starts to migrate south without assistance and without the elastic losing it's strength. Seriously, the joys of weight loss! Buying new underwear has become a joy - however I'm not at my goal weight do while I want nice undies I don't want to pay much cause who knows when they too will start migrating south!

On Friday I went to buy new shapewear for Meagan's wedding and decided to buy new undies after Marko pointed out that my others have holes and they whole migrating south issue.

Browsing in big w there wasn't much I liked but scored when I found a rack of plain black undies with a nice bit of lace at the waist band. I excitedly looked for my size but there was only the next size down - the 14-16. Positive they wouldn't fit I grabbed a pair to try on seeing as I had to try shapewear on too.

How thrilled am I to be the very happy owner of size 14/16 undies.

LOVE IT!!! And had to share.


Ok, secondly, the warning about running. If you dislike reading blogs that are blatantly honest about personal stuff, you might like to skip the rest of this post....hehehe

Running is hard. This I already knew. It takes hard work and persistence to run further and faster each day...I'm good with that. I've been working hard going further each day and I'll post more on this later..

What I didn't know was this...

Its not a good idea to run while wearing pads.

I would go so far as to say don't run while wearing pads. Yep, you heard me don't do it! Of course I learned by experience, this week at the farm I have my period and I've been determined to continue my running. Today I made the grave mistake of doing my run wearing a pad. And the result? Pain, serious pain - the pad chaffed while I ran and rubbed my skin raw.

So take my advice and use an alternative product while running! I know I will from now on!

Running at the farm - dodging cow poo, uneven ground and ant nests!!!



How glorious it is to finally be on holidays. We both had our last day of work yesterday, packed the car and then at 2am this morning we got up, and were out the door by 3:30am NSW time.

 

After around 6 hours (including stops) we crossed the border into Queensland!!! Great feeling to be heading home, well to Mum and Dad's home.

We got here at about 9 Qld time.. pretty good effort.

Onto business then...
At the beginning of this round I did some serious goal setting. I set two types of goals Habit Goals and Achievement Goals, you can see my goals under the Goals tab at the top of the page.

The second group of goals I set were achievement goals. As always I'm inspired by Kate and her ability to set insane goals and then totally achieve them. Her most recent effort saw her running the cross country course at her old school which she defiantly avoided as a teenager.

One of the goals I set for over Christmas while in Stanthorpe was called 'Choose your own adventure fun run - run from the house to the back dam at Mum and Dad's property'. When setting this goal I had no idea how far that was in kilometres but a goal is a goal.

I decided planning was the key and that I should walk the track from the house to the dam to see how far it is. As I hadn't completed my SSS due to our drive I decided to head up there Saturday afternoon - yep the day we arrived. I thought I'd use Map My Run to calculate the distance. I walked out of the house yard, noted that it was weird that the gates were shut, then through the second gate (which was also closed - again weird) and started off on the track. The first bit was pretty flat so I decided I might as well run as far as I could, then I would know what to aim for.

The weirdly closed gate...

the track

Getting started

Pretty soon I found that running a track on a property is WAY tougher than running on the road and footpath at home. On the road and footpath all I have to worry about is my breathing (which I really struggle to keep even) and my pace...oh and cars lol. On the track I had to dodge the following obstacles:

Dried up Cow Poo,

 

uneven ground and grass tuffs great for rolling ankles,

and crazy ants nests!

As I was running, avoiding the above hazards, I wondered who had been at the farm with horses...

I had completely forgotten about the cattle. The ones Mum and Dad earn a living from for agistment!

So that's why the gates were shut!

Now normally cows don't worry me at all, but usually when I encounter them either they are in yards or I am in a car....not in the same paddock as them on foot. The first ones I came across were more afraid of me and turned and ran off!

But this one really had me worried! Those horns gave me a fright and then the damn thing started coming towards me. At this point I was still running and it certainly made me run faster....

And then of course I had another hazard to dodge while running - fresh cow poo!

running away from the horned cow!

And then I was there!

I couldn't believe I'd run the whole way on my first go!! I was so excited!!!

pointing at the top of the dam wall, standing at the base!

From the house to the dam it was 2.2kms and it took me 18 minutes! I completely smashed the goal that I'd set - the run wasn't as long as I thought it would be but it was just as challenging!

So proud of myself!

So now I guess I need to reset my goals but for the time being I'm very proud of myself. Below are some photos I snapped on the way back of the property. It was a beautiful place for a run!