This round will be different.
Because this round I have set a target or a an end of round goal.
My overall goal this round is to get to 90kgs by the end of week 12. Even as I think this number I feel myself tensing up inside - disbelieving that I can do it and laughing at myself. Mostly it's a mental thing for me. I have SO many issues around that three digit number changing to a two digit one. It sounds insane but I honestly do. Issues like that revolve around that picture of what I know to be true about myself. I posted about this a while back and was discussing it with my friend Kate last night. There is so much fear and doubt that when I challenge what I know to be true about myself that I won't like who I become, that my best friends won't like who I am, that I won't fit in anymore and that my life will change too much and I'll lose the wonderful stuff not just the weight and all the weight represents.
I know it sounds CRAZY. But that's what irrational fears are about. Others listen on in amazement wondering how the heck this seemingly normal and functional person became so neurotic about the difference between 2 and 3 digits on the scales.
I guess for me the first step was sitting in that work session and realising that I'm more than the number on the scale and that I can't let that number define 'what I know to be true' about myself. Easier said than done. Particularly when that number HAS defined 'what I know to be true' about myself for as long as I can remember. It's a new way of thinking and it takes practice.
So I'm taking a leap of faith. I'm aiming to be 90kgs by the end of Round 1 2014 and I am planning on doing exactly that.
As per my letter to myself I have a strategy and a weekly goal to aim for each week. I was thinking more about it today and about my buddy Kate and her awesome catchy goal names and I thought '90 in 90' sounded pretty cool. Unfortunately 12 weeks of 7 days only equals 84 but as I said '90 in 90' sounds better. So realistically I've bought myself 6 additional unofficial days (which I may need cause I didn't get off to the best start).
There are a few key things I need to do to make this happen.
I need to:
- Be better prepared
- JFDI with exercise
- Use My Fitness Pal
- Focus on my goal
Today when I wanted to eat on my way home I just focused on the number. "90 in 90" I said to myself and I found I didn't want to eat after all. When I got home I said no to the rice crackers that Hubby had out (and the cheese and dip) and it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I said "no" to the pepsi max he offered me and chose water instead.
So "90 in 90" will be my new mantra.
In deciding to be better prepared, tonight while I cooked dinner I also cooked up a batch of my good old favourite Cupcake Quiches!! I usually do a double batch, bag them in pairs then freeze them for work lunches - however tonight I didn't have enough eggs so I just did a single batch.
Mmm yummy!! Can't wait to get into these for lunch tomorrow!!
JFDI with exercise - the alarm clock is set and come rain or shine I WILL be up at 4:15am and I WILL do my 12 minute running test and exercise plan. I will even post photos to prove it!!
I feel good knowing I have a plan and a goal to aim for. Now I just have to do it!!